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2 responses so far ↓
Brenna Ehrlich // February 3, 2008 at 2:56 pm |
Hey! I’ve enjoyed reading the last 10 posts on your blog, and I suppose I am to give some feedback now.
I was a big fan of most of your posts– but I think I really liked the post about Heath Ledger. I think you found a lot of good information to back up your ideas: the comparison between TMZ and AP, the grieving blogger and Spears’ obit. I didn’t know about that one, and it was pretty shocking.
Also, I think you really captured the whole obsession with celebrity without making fun of Ledger’s death, which is tempting when you’re talking about a public figure who doesn’t seem quite real.
One post that I think could have been improved was the one on the suicide side effect. I think you had a lot of good info (I loved the bit about Accutane), but I feel like the post went on too long. It was more of an article than a scannable piece.
Also, sometimes too many block quotes can discourage a reader– leading them to skip the quote entirely. Other than that, the concept of the post was great.
Overall, I think your theme is pretty consistent. It’s health/mental info counched in a funny, snarky style. I love some of your one-liners: “pot calling the kettle black” etc. You’ve added enough personal flair and style to make a potentially mind-numbing topic fun.
As for scannable writing, I think that your use of bolded text works well. I would do more of it– the equivalent of a pull-quote. Otherwise, I think perhaps your paragraphs may be too long. While I love a lot of your joking style, sometimes the humor takes up huge chunks (like in the Deja vu post). It’s all great stuff, but maybe it could be pared down more for easier reading?
Mostly you use links very well. I like how you link to other blogs and posts. Sometimes, however, you don’t reference where a link is leading to, which makes me not really want to click on it. Unless it says “mousetrap,” because I love that game.
Hm, I guess I already covered writing style. Yay for writing style! Your tone and style fit perfectly with what you’re writing about. Maybe a little opinionated, but I’m still not sure about how much opinion we’re supposed to inject, so I’d say carry on.
Paul Dailing // February 3, 2008 at 4:47 pm |
Brenna really hit a lot of the points I was going to make. Love the writing style. It’s a really clear, identifiable voice and the snarky works well.
Strangely, the post I liked the least was the one Brenna liked the most – the Heath Ledger one. It’s not even that I think it was poorly done or anything. It just hit the mental health aspect sort of late. I think whenever celebrity gets involved, I have a tendency to sort of put it in the “oh, celebrity news” part of my brain and skip to the next item. As a reader, I have to be slapped upside the head right away to realize “oh, it’s about a celebrity but it’s really about psychology.”
That’s just my preference, at least. I thought there was good stuff, but it wasn’t clear at first that it was about anything more than Heath Ledger dying. Your later posts set out the important parts really well right away.
Also, I think that post leads to the compliment part of the assignment. I think the whole thing is improving. And I liked it from the get-go.
To me, it seems like the first entries were a little varied in tone. But the last few – especially the one on the mosquitos and on decision-making in the elderly – really hit a good stride. They were consistant, funny and so on.
I like the bolded text as well, but – again – I think you’re doing it better than you were. At first, it seemed a little random. “Obsession” bolded in the celebrity death entry, “perhaps evolutionary impulses” in the midlife crisis one. I was left wondering why bold them.
More recent posts, though, really use the bolded text better. You’re really highlighting stuff that gets me interesting in the story rather than what seemed like random words.
In short, it’s a blog I’ve liked since it started and I think any initial roughness is going away.